Beats and Joys, Towers and Impatience

I sat at a park by myself today. The weather was too inviting not be out side. It was a bit chilly, but I braved it in the skimpy clothing I was wearing. I walked and found myself a tree where I took pictures, played guitar, and ate burritos. A cool breeze kept riffling my basketball shorts and cut off t-shirt and made me a bit cold, but despite it I sat for a while smiling and playing. Cool sunlight grazed my skin, while laughter and notes filled my ears. I have to say, it was brilliant. That’s the life I want, and will have. To play for myself, for others, with others, while eat burritos and smile. To smile.

.

My frustrations pulsed through me, and blood was my hot as it rushed through my temples. I avoided eye contact. My responses to statements directed at me were curt and disrespectful, during which were glares of ill thoughts and anger. My mouth hung open, and I restrained my lips from forming words that I knew I would regret saying. Sweat dripped from my red and hot face. My head was soaked, and my clothes were moist. I sat there in this state for a long while.

In the moments of silence that followed the long drawn out murmurs and explanations I wanted to blurt out in anger and passion, but I knew it would be a mass of incoherent babble, so I refrained. I sat there pulsing instead. I fell deeper into anger and resentment for my superior. But soon, after I was alone, I began to think. I knew it was not a fault I had dealt, and it was something I could not control. The only comfort was that I knew I had support behind me, and that I could take control and do what I could for the sake of our reputation as a unit. Resentment turned into a drive, a motivation; one that will keep me going. It’s on me. It’s on me..    

Ayo! Competition time.

Let’s say I’m a bit more than a little excited.

I’ll play,

we win,

team’s happy.

Simple concept.

Not so easy to achieve.

Why not try. 

Let’s work. 

Why not start a movement of new thinking? Today’s society is obsessed with images of falseness and lies. So perhaps, see things a bit differntly. Try looking through the eyes of the radicals, the feminists, the homosexuals, the homeless, the rich, the poor, the writers, the lovers, the musicians, the addicts; then dictate your decisions and views after having pondered upon the ideals of others.

Here’s another; why the fuck does tumblr cause me to write such deep and meaningful shit? Especially when I often criticize those that express themselves in the way I have done. Perhaps the feeling of resentment I’m undertaking is a cause to stop my writing. Or maybe it’s motivation to push myself into further emotional release through this method. Ah, perhaps that’s it. Releasing emotion can only lead to good things. So why not keep writing? Even if it just ends up to be a jumble meaningless shit.